What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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