Where is the hickey?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
