did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
