so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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