Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I wear drunk well.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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