Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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