the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
