I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Someone shattered a urinal.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
