I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
