Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
