He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
