it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
