that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
