ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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