fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
