Sry I called you an 8
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
