My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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