He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Hippo gnu deer
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
