This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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