What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize