you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
