Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Already got asked if we're dating
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
