at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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