you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just want to make out with him forever
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
