3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
