I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
