I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
