I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It's rum buckets o'clock
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
