I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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