just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
