shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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