Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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