I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Randomize
