So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
