google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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