your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
