no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
