I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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