When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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