It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
