yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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