i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
