i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize