I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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