so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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