I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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