I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
