Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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