you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
