Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I am mentally ready for anal.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
