he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
