also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
