I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
