She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
