i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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