why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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