How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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