i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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