Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
