if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
