My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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