Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
