I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
