no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I could fuck to npr.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
