your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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