She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
She bit a glass in half.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize